Before you read the struggles and feelings there is one thing you should know as a pre requisite – Date someone in the military, fall in love and take the plunge. Be prepared for the best.
Take it from someone going through this nothing can top dating an army man.
The people around you, the “civilians” would fail to understand why someone would ‘sign-up’ for this.
Not many would get the idea of a guy among their own age group wanting to take on such a big risk for the country we often keep dissing about. But not you, you see the thought from the point of view of your person, you see the spark in his eyes when he talks about wanting the uniform that people crave for. You realize the immensity of what the army means to him.
You see your person as the asset to the country rather than the other way round.
Because you know what he is giving up, what he is willing to leave behind for the country, selflessly, you gain a next level of respect. Not many people wish to give up a life of luxuries by choice but when they do it should be considered a treasure.
Your significant others words and phrases sometimes make you question your educational qualifications.
Keeping up with your significant other’s work conversations is like trying to keep your head above water. Certain words tat they use for the heavy artillery and machinery go over and above your head but you wish to understand and involve yourself as much as you can because you want to be a part of it for them, with them.
You will face the struggle of missing someone so much to the extent that its physically painful. (Really it is –nods-)
There are normal gaps of days when you don’t see him and that’s okay because you’re able to manage for a while apart. And then there are weeks that change into months that you have to go on without each other because of some training or the other, where at times there is no contact through any media whatsoever in between and that makes your body ache and oh what you’d give to just feel the lightest brush of his hand against yours.
Moreover there is always that sword hanging over your head thinking about the time he’d be deployed and you’d constantly worry about his safety and the thought of not knowing whether he’d make it through the day without a scratch makes you sick to the stomach!
You WILL end up comparing your relationships with others.
When youre in a relationship with someone so selfless, committed, passionate, amazing and one where both of you are working forward to build it together there is no way that you’d not end up being bored or intolerant towards the usual drooling over around you . Because when in the end all that theres to it is a lot of whining over issues which seem most insignificant to you (‘cause lets face it you’ve seen the real deal).
You will face important decisions much sooner than the average civilian couple will.
Within no time would you be preparing for an uncertain future with the only certain thing being- “Us”. Some people will think this is because you are young, foolish, and overeager. The opposite is true; it is because you will likely have to come to grips with important parts of life sooner than others your age. Because truth be told, you will have to and WANT to figure out ways and discuss possibilities of setting out a future, preparing for it because its not going to be easy but you’d want to work for it.
You will borderline worship technology, for example Skype or Facetime.
A long-distance relationship will teach you just how patient you can really be. When it comes to technology, we expect it to work — and when something as important as seeing the love of our life for a few moments for the first time in weeks gets ruined because of it, there are very few things that can incense us so quickly. Skype epitomizes the love-hate relationship when you begin a long-distance courtship with your service member; and as much of a pain in the ass it is, you’ll find that there are few things better than getting to see their face, even if for just a laggy, pixelated second before that stupid dropped-call noise sounds and you throw your computer across the room.
You become extra sensitive to anything and everything that is said about the army.
If you hear someone 5th in line, 3rd counter in the grocery store saying s*it about the Army you WILL involuntarily immediately jump in line, probably chop her head of and hit her head with the box of cereals in your hand to defend the Army as if its you whose fighting on the borders.
Lets face it, you do feel quite the nincompoop, useless little person at times doing nothing with your life.
When you hear your partner go on about who stressful and indecent their living conditions are, how they tackle every grave detail with utmost care and how the battle to survive the harshest of places and situations. You hear about a life with purpose and you do feel like your life has no meaning to it.
They cannot be at your side at all times.
If you are someone who needs constant attention and affection, know that a service member may not be able to give that to you. You can’t expect them to be physically there all of the time when it comes to military duties and it’s certainly not right to make them feel guilty about it.
“We cherish every moment ‘cause we’re never promised a tomorrow. Hoping for a 5-minute call or a 3-word text message. So yes, its easy to date a civilian and walk away with an easy life. Instead we choose to get up and stand strong next to our heroes the same way they stand for our country.”